Trusting and Depending on Others - An Unskippable Avenue of Healing

Photo by Jackie Parker on Unsplash

“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.”
— Maya Angelou

God has the grace to heal us in our brokenness.

I know you may not like this initially if you have a fear of dependency on others, but I love you too much not to share this post with you. All that I share here is based on my personal experiences with others and God.  Allow me to begin:

A significant portion of your healing can only be experienced through openness to others.

Your openness will allow healing that is otherwise unattainable.

Thus, your level of openness is a determinant of how far you go in healing.

During the process of healing, God sends those whom He knows have the grace to handle you, your flaws and all. (If they're not already in your life, rest assured that they'll be here soon.) If you need the faithful or the gracious, the loving and affectionate, the peaceful or . . . and the list goes on, God sends them to you, and your galaxies collide beautifully.

The people God sends into your life are meant to play a major part in your healing. They have some things that you need, and also need what you have within you. I know you may be asking, 'What do I have to give?' Your precious heart, your mind— you are an expression of God that will indubitably help and nurture them, and push them toward fulfilling their purpose. You and the one with whom you are aligned need each other. (And yes, this is confirmation that we all need people, haha.) 

To gain healing from the people God sends and allow what they need to flow from your mind or heart, you have to trust them. 

I know that trusting others may be hard for you for many reasons.  In response, I stare deeply into your eyes, hoping that you can see the years of turmoil I have experienced due to distrust, so that it may hit your heart profoundly when I whisper in healing, “We have to trust to heal.” Without doing so, we cannot move forward.

In comforting you so that you can release your fear of revealing your imperfections, I assure you and testify that the people sent by God into your life have the grace to handle all of them. All of them. Release yourself into who God has sent for you.

In comforting you so you can release your fear of the people God sends hurting you, I assure you that they are not the same as those who hurt you in the past or who keep hurting you, that is, those who caused you to create ways to prevent yourself from being hurt again. The people God has sent, or is sending soon, have been prepared by God to love you, and be kind to you. They have different minds, hearts and demeanors meant to reverse the damage of what has been done to you with tender care.

Even those who have hurt you in the past can be healed and given new hearts to participate in your healing from said hurt.  You have to forgive and allow them to love you the way they couldn't in the past, renewing your memories and restoring your relationship to a never-before-experienced glory.

Because I have experienced distrust, I can say from experience that your view of people may be skewed.  Kindness is refreshing, surprising, and even suspicious to those who have harboured distrust toward others.  Though I won't say that everyone has the grace and kindness you require for healing, I will say that the people around you are unlikely to hurt you in the way those who hurt you in the past— triggering the self-defense mechanism of distrust— did. I have found that, even whilst overcoming distrust, most people I interact with within my social circles are kindhearted and caring, the realization of which has helped me to heal and feel safe. Is it the same for you anywhere? Have you been seeing your schoolmates, coworkers, church family or anyone else from the lens of hurt? If you have, allow the truth to set you free.

I know that you may be wrestling with the possibility of the destiny helpers failing your expectations or hurting you. In comforting you, I say unadulteratedly that they will. These imperfect, healing human beings will fail your expectations, and hurt you (unknowingly and unintentionally) at some point because they are imperfect. To keep trusting in order to keep reveling in the love others have for you, you have to learn to forgive and trust God's ability to heal you should you be hurt. Lasting love, on any level, from anyone, requires forgiveness. In marriage, forgive your husband or wife and revel in each other's love. In friendships, forgive your friend, and revel in each other's love. With God, you have to forgive yourself to revel in His love again. Keep forgiving and keep reveling. Without forgiveness, there is no way to trust others and revel in their love. 

Pair this forgiveness with a faith in God's ability to heal and restore you from any state back to your original place of optimal wellness. 

N.B. Even if a person who hurt you is unchanged and unrepentant, without forgiveness, there is no way for love to last; no true freedom.

Now, I know that you'll have to learn over time to forgive, (and I am wondering if you know that it'll take time, too). In response, I reveal that I am one of the people God has sent with the grace and kindness for your healing. As one of your 'destiny helpers', I encourage you by saying this: my love, be patient with yourself. Things take time. Opening up to others is a process, okay? Your other 'destiny helpers' and I have grace for you as you do, and so does God. All we need now is for you to have grace for yourself during your process of, slowly but surely, healing.

My Final Thoughts Are As Such:

I love you too much not to protect you, and too much not to ask you to release your false shield of protection that's hindering and hurting you. I have to ask you to trust others, my love… For you.

I am proud of your resolve to open up to, trust, and lean others, and to learn to forgive. I am proud of your faith in God demonstrated in putting yourself in a position where you can be refreshed by their care for you. I am proud of you, even if you have yet to do anything. I am in celebration of every bit of healing you experience. I am happy for the blessings that will come into your life due to your willingness to open up to others. I pray your peace.

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