'An Apology' (A Poem)

To Worthy,

Blameless,
Pure,
Holy,
Hated by a misunderstanding humanity
Whom You love;

For all the times I blamed You
Due to my unbelief in Your purity,

For all the times I expressed anger at You
For abandoning me;
Though You never will,

For thrashing against Your outstretched arm,
Blind to the significance
Of the wait in Your eyes;
The eyes of the good One
Who withholds no good thing,

For expressing disappointment in You,
Saying,
“Why aren't You here?”
Though You are,
And will always be,

For accusing You of being
d  i  s  t  a  n  t,
Though You await to be sought,
Arms open eternally,

For imagining You in hatred's cloak
On my own accord,
Then accusing You of crimes
You are unable to commit,
Responding to vain imaginations as though
You could ever be anyone but
Yourself, 
Pure in Spirit,

For deeming You unholy
When I misperceive Your rebuke
As hatred rather than counsel,

For having a short fuse toward You,
Though You are Healer,
Giving You stripes
Though You took my own,
(You take them now as You did then—
Wordlessly;)

For driving nails into
The hands that hold me;
The feet that do not get weary
As You bear my lifelong load;

I am sorry.
I take Your purity for granted.
Despite Your innocence,
I put You on that cross.

Open my eyes
That I may see You
Holy and pure,
Gracious
Love.

Sincerely,
Your Daughter,
Already forgiven.

 

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