Dear Mommy or Daddy: Invest in Yourself First (A Word on Investment)

Dear Mommy/Daddy:

Give yourself grace for not being able to give your children what you would like to.  You’d love to give to your children because you deeply desire for them to be provided for, emotionally healthy and whole.  However, you can’t give what you don’t have.  You're only able to give them what you do have. You’re unable to give your children anything if you have nothing yet, or have not yet born within yourself what you’d like to give.  It’s not that you won’t or don’t give them grace or love or financial comfortability— it’s simply that you’re unable because of present issues you’re facing birthed by your past.  You are not to blame. Give yourself grace.

If you want to invest in your children, whom I know you love, and raise them to be whole in soul, intentionally invest in you.  You won’t be able love them with all of you until you become willing to abide in a place of vulnerability, a requirement of healing. Though it is impossible to raise children without faith in the Spirit of God, coupling it with vulnerability is required.  (Vulnerability is a perfect spouse for faith.)  Vulnerability is a requirement as it is an avenue through which the Spirit of God may heal you. One has to be given access through the uncovering of wounds in order to heal them. You cannot invest in the fruit of your womb that is now outside of you until you bear the fruit within yourself first. Withering trees have no sugar to deposit.  When a tree is nourished and healthy, then it is able to stand strong and thus to deposit sugars into its fruit.  (By sugar, I absolutely make a metaphor for sugar lovin'- hugs, kisses, the whole arsenal.)

Do your children matter?  You matter, too! You are in need, too! You are both human. Though investing in yourself merely to relay the increase in providing for them is a more than worthy cause, invest in yourself for you, too, and you first.  Invesst in yourself because you deserve it— because you truly do deserve to be loved. Go to therapy. Journal. Admit the truth about yourself. Approach and confront the issues you avoid. No matter how destabilizing and uncomfortable it is, it is worth the cost. YOU and YOUR CHILDREN will always be worth the cost.

Learning about yourself and the hurt you may have undergone that has caused you to be emotionally unable to bear the fruit you’d like to give, will be apart of the journey toward bearing it. The place of self-awareness and self-investment is the place in which you will perpetually thrive and become healthier emotionally, psychologically and spiritually, the benefit of which will be the increase and excess multiplied through the way raise your children.

If you do not invest in yourself, you will not bear it within yourself, and you won’t be able to give and multiply the excess that is the increase within your children. But if you do invest in yourself, each day, you will become more and more able to give grace, empathy, and all other ingredients for wholeness you’d love to give to your you bundles of joy, the seed of your tree or the fruit of your womb, your divine reward.

Love,

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